Somewhere In The Answers
by writer-always-n-forever
Summary: Rating change for strong language What if Ryan weren’t the only one in OC with secrets? What if Marissa isn’t the girl-next-door she pretends to be and Seth isn’t as naïve as he appears?
1. One

Hello! I'm already in love with The OC (especially Seth!!!), and I love writing fanfiction as well. This is my first OC fanfic. Of course, I don't own The OC, FOX does. Please let me know what you think of my story (so far)!  
  
Jolting up in bed, Ryan realized that he was panting, bathed in a cold sweat and moonlight. He looked over at the digital clock next to his new bed in the poolhouse. 11:52. How could it be almost midnight already? Damn, Ryan thought. Longer nap than expected.  
  
Ryan had been dreaming of his mother again. He felt conflicted about the whole situation, really. He was grateful for his incredible luck with finding the Cohens (or, rather, the Cohens finding him), and at the same time, he felt almost like he had betrayed her.  
  
But this is what she wanted for me, Ryan reminded himself as he got up and stretched. He rubbed his eyes, and wandered over to the window of the poolhouse, looking out into the beautiful night. It was a full moon, so his surroundings were illuminated silhouettes. Involuntarily, his eyes shifted to Marissa's house. Much to his surprise, Ryan saw someone.  
  
From his place on the floor, Ryan couldn't make out exactly who. Wondering if it might be an intruder, Ryan pulled the chair from his desk over to the window and stood on it to get a better view. The fact that the Cooper mansion was just as deadlocked by security systems as the Cohen's never occurred to him. Peering across the lawn, Ryan could now see that there were two people, and the garish yellow light from the moon left them naked of any discretion -- it was Marissa and Seth.  
  
What the..? Ryan thought. He stood silently on the chair, watching them. They were talking, it seemed. They were standing closer than Ryan had ever seen them stand together in the couple weeks since he'd been there, which surprised him almost as much as seeing the two of them together. But what he saw next made him lose his footing and tumble from the chair.  
  
Okay, Ryan whispered to himself. Reality check. He righted the chair, and quickly perched on it again. Sure enough, he had seen it. Luckily, it was over now, and Seth was walking away, right back towards his house. It was real. Marissa and Seth, standing in her driveway in the middle of the night, had kissed.  
  
Ryan brushed his hair off his forehead, dazed, and sat back down on his bed. He smacked himself on the cheek, and much to his dismay, felt a stinging pang.  
Oh my God..Ryan thought to himself. What was going on? His mind was positively reeling. Seth liked Summer. Seth was kissing Marissa. Marissa was dating Luke. Welcome to the OC, bitch.  
  
Now what? Ryan wondered. Talk to Seth? Marissa? Neither? Keep spying on them to find out what is really going on? He didn't know what the hell to do. Except go back to sleep.  
*  
  
..Well? Did you guys like it? Are you interested? Should I continue? Would you keep reading if I did? Let me know! Thanks for reading. 


	2. Two

Hey~ Thanks to those (TWO) of you who reviewed, I really appreciate it. I try to review all the fics I read, I know how helpful they can be. I tried to make this chapter a little longer, hopefully to capture some more interest and build up some suspense..keep reading and reviewing, thanks!! =)  
  
The next morning, Ryan woke up, with high hopes that maybe, this could still be a dream. But when he saw his chair beneath his windows, he was forced to accept what he'd mistakenly seen last night. Seth and Marissa kissing. Okay, enough already! He inwardly chided himself. He got out of bed and dressed, and went to the house to join the Cohens for breakfast.  
  
When he entered the kitchen, Ryan saw both Sandy and Kirsten chattering frantically into cell phones. Seth was pouring himself some orange juice, and grinned when he saw Ryan. He looked at his parents, then back at Ryan, still grinning, and rolled his eyes.  
  
"'Morning," Seth said, sliding a glass of juice towards Ryan.  
Ryan mustered a smile and nodded.  
"So what's your pleasure?" Seth asked, rummaging through the cabinets. ".Toaster Strudel.or are you a Pop-Tart man?"  
  
"Anything would be fine," Ryan said. He hadn't even heard of Toaster Strudel.  
"Right," Seth said, dropping two Pop-Tarts into the toaster.  
"So how was your first night in your new place?" Seth asked.  
Ryan raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly at Seth.  
"It was..different. I sometimes take awhile to get used to new..situations."  
Seth nodded slowly.  
  
"Speaking of new situations, I'm going to give you the grand tour of Orange County today, since you never officially got one!" Seth said brightly.  
"That's cool of you, man," Ryan said, downing his orange juice.  
What he was really thinking was this would give him a chance to try and trip Seth up, get him to confess something. Whatever that something was.  
  
As Ryan and Seth headed out to Seth's car for the "grand tour", they were met by Marissa, who had gone out to check her mailbox.  
"Hey, guys," she said cheerfully, waving.  
  
"Hey, Marissa. Ready, Ryan?" Seth said, using his usual off-putting tone whenever it came to Marissa. Nothing new there.  
"Yeah.actually, I have an idea. Marissa, you wanna come with us?" Ryan asked.  
This would be perfect. He could observe them together. Again. But this time he'd know what to look for.  
  
Seth looked like he wanted to protest, but before he could, Marissa spoke up.  
"Where are you guys going?"  
"Oh, I'm just showing him around, pretty boring, actually," Seth said quickly.  
"Sure, I'll go."  
  
Seth plastered a grin on his face, and he and Ryan got into the car. Marissa hopped in the backseat and they were off.  
"And over to your left would be Orange County High School. I could just end the tour now, buddy, since this is most definitely the most exciting attraction," Seth said as he drove by a massive building.  
  
"Yeah, right"! Marissa scoffed.  
Seth glared at her in the rearview mirror.  
"Sarcasm, Marissa. I realize you don't converse with me often, but every other word out of my mouth falls into this category. I'd expect you to recognize it."  
Marissa sighed and rolled her eyes.  
  
Ryan didn't get it. They acted the same exact way they always had, at least it seemed that way to him. Why would they have been kissing?! He was positive it was them, it was nearly daylight bright when he'd witnessed it. These two both had a future in acting.  
  
"Jeez, you guys fight like you're married!" Ryan laughed, glancing at them sideways to observe their reactions.  
  
He thought he saw a glimmer of apprehension on Marissa's face as she looked at Seth, but it was so infinitesimal that he could've imagined it. Seth simply scrunched up his nose, as if to say, "Ew! Marissa has cooties!". The exact reaction he'd expect from his pseudo-brother.  
  
Two hours later, as Seth pulled back into the drive, Ryan had a vast knowledge of where the best burger joints and worst crack houses in Newport were, but not a single clue to explain the kiss between Seth and Marissa. It was time to execute Plan B.  
  
*  
That night, Ryan was hanging out in Seth's room after dinner. Seth was messing around with his computer, and Ryan was lying on his bed, watching.  
  
"So you and Marissa don't get along too well for people who've lived next door to each other their entire lives," he said casually.  
  
"Ryan, please," Seth replied. "You just answered your own question. Marissa and I don't get along well because we've lived next door to each other our entire lives. I don't know about you, but I tend to have a distaste for people who blatantly ignore me."  
  
"Liar," Ryan said coyly.  
"Huh?" Seth asked, turning around in his desk chair.  
"Hello? Summer Roberts?"  
  
Seth's face broke into an embarrassed grin and he tossed a pen at Ryan.  
"She doesn't always ignore you," Ryan argued.  
"Summer?"  
  
"No," Ryan continued cautiously. "Marissa. She talks to you sometimes."  
"Come on," Seth retorted. "She uses me as an excuse to talk to you."  
This both added to Ryan's confusion and perked his interest.  
"What do you mean by that?" Ryan asked.  
"You don't see it?" Seth asked incredulously.  
  
"See what, Seth?"  
"Isn't it obvious to you that Marissa has a thing for you?" Seth said, exasperated.  
"She does not. She's going out with Luke," Ryan said.  
"Like that means anything," Seth said, under his breath.  
"What?"  
  
"I just said that Marissa's relationship with Luke is a dead end. She doesn't love him, it's all smoke and mirrors. She shows him off, like Mommy and Daddy's good girl. But she likes you."  
Ryan sensed a darker undertone to Seth's voice, but he couldn't identify what it was exactly. Jealousy? Sadness? Fraud?  
  
"Did she tell you that?" Ryan asked quietly.  
"Oh, yeah. During one of our hour-long gossip sessions she totally dished!" Seth gushed sarcastically.  
  
"Hey, man. What's your problem? Does it bother you? If it were true, that is," Ryan said.  
"No, it doesn't bother me," Seth said flatly. "Wait. Yes, it does."  
Ryan's heart skipped a beat. Was this what he'd been waiting for?  
"It bothers me because you obviously dig her, too, and I'd hate to see you end up with such a superficial bitch."  
  
With that, Seth shoved his chair out and left the room.  
* 


	3. Three

Okay.I hope I'm not confusing you guys too much, I think this chapter will explain a lot..even though it might be a tad unbelievable. True, it's kind of a stretch, but it's fun to write and hopefully fun to read! Please please please review! They really help me out a lot. I love knowing what you guys think. R&R!!!! Thanks!  
  
*  
Okay, Ryan thought to himself, still on Seth's bed, moments after his huffed exit. Let's take stock here. He had seen Marissa and Seth kiss last night. Marissa and Seth, whom he'd thought were a few "Hello"s away from being perfect strangers, who happened to be neighbors. Marissa and Seth, who's behavior together completely supported this theory. So why would they be kissing? And what was bothering Seth, anyway? Seth didn't seem like the type to kiss someone and then refer to her as a "superficial bitch". Unless there was something else. But what? Ryan needed to go clear his head.  
  
"Hey, Seth?" Ryan called as he went into the hallway. He wasn't sure where Seth had stalked off to.  
  
"Seth, buddy? Listen, I'm going to go for a walk.."  
  
No reply.  
  
"All right then. I'll see you later!" Ryan called as he jogged down the steps and out the door.  
  
He wasn't really sure where to go, he didn't have anywhere to go. Any public place threatened to house the water-polo prep that had it out for him, so Ryan thought he'd just wander around and hope that Seth's tour had been efficient enough to ensure he didn't get lost.  
  
Ryan walked for awhile in no particular direction, using his mind to think rather than navigate. He soon found himself on a deserted patch of beach, most likely rejected because of the jagged rocks spiking threateningly out of the sand. But Ryan didn't mind, he was used to his surroundings being a little rough around the edges. In fact, he appreciated being alone. He'd never thought he'd actually want to be by himself, after spending most of his life that way. Now that he actually had a family, he wanted to be alone. Ryan couldn't comprehend this.  
  
Then again, at the moment, there were lots of things he couldn't comprehend. His head was spinning with questions. Since his first brilliant plan in the car had failed, and his attempt to get Seth to talk about it now served as Strike Two, there was only one logical conclusion Ryan could come to as he stared into the sunset. Spy on them some more.  
  
Ryan sat down on a boulder near the shoreline, buffed smooth from the tide. He let the sound of the surf calm his nerves. He closed his eyes and tipped his face up to the twilight sky, and try to push away all thoughts of Chino, his mother, Seth, and Marissa.. Convinced that his mental slate was clean, Ryan started back for the Cohens'..only to have his slate contaminated all over again.  
  
*  
The Cohen's house was dark when Ryan got back, so he let himself into the poolhouse. He opened the door, flipped on the lightswitch, and was blinded. Not by the contrast of bright, flourescent light to the dark of the newborn evening, but by the sight of Seth and Marissa "getting their mack on" as Seth would say, on the poolhouse floor.  
  
Ryan froze in shock, and his jaw dropped, creating a slight gasp.  
Seth and Marissa's gasps weren't so slight. They were, in fact, more like the startled yelps of unsuspecting dogs being kicked. (Ah, the sounds that remind Ryan of home).  
  
"Ryan! Hey buddy, what're you doing here?!" Seth asked in a rush as he and Marissa stood up in record time, straightening their clothes.  
  
"Uh, I live here.." Ryan said vacantly, not taking his eyes off the two, who had both turned the color of the bleeding sunset outside. "What are you doing here? I mean, it's kind of obvious what you're doing, but-" Ryan rambled on awkwardly.  
  
"I'm sorry, I've got to go," Marissa said anxiously as she pushed past Seth and Ryan, obviously exceptionally ashamed.  
  
"What. The hell. Was that?" Ryan asked.  
Seth rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  
"Uhh..yeah." he mumbled clumsily.  
"Seth?"  
  
"Yeah!" Seth said, snapping to attention and dropping the hand away from his neck.  
"I'm waiting, explain! What the hell were you and Marissa doing in here, making out?" Ryan demanded.  
  
"Didn't you just sort of answer your own question again?" Seth tried cautiously.  
"Seth!"  
"Right. Sorry. Um, do you want to sit down? Cause it's kind of a long story."  
Ryan sat on his bed, and Seth sat backwards on his desk chair (the same chair Ryan had stood on when he'd first seen them kiss).  
  
"Okay. Okay," Seth said, trying to psyche himself up. "I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I guess there's no use in trying to lie about it."  
  
"Are you having an affair with Marissa?" Ryan asked, point blank.  
Seth's mouth was in a small, concerned O, his eyes wide, like a deer in headlights.  
"Well, I don't know if you'd call it an affair, exactly.."  
Ryan was getting a tad annoyed with Seth's bumbling idiot act.  
"Then what would you call it, Seth? Are you guys, how do you say, friends with benefits?" Ryan challenged.  
  
"Sort of. Without the whole 'friends' part," Seth said.  
Ryan's eyes widened, and his stomach swam. All this time he'd thought that Seth was so naïve, when all along, he himself had been the one in the dark about what was going on around here.  
  
"Okay. So what you're telling me is," Ryan said, holding up his hands as he spoke, "is that you and Marissa.."  
  
"Have an entirely physical relationship," Seth finished quickly, his cheeks aflame, as he cast his gaze to the floor.  
  
Ryan held his head with his hand, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips. This was too much to deal with.  
  
"Since when?!" he asked, in disbelief.  
Seth looked up, thinking.  
"About eight months now," he replied nonchalantly.  
"And you see this as no big deal?"  
"Well, I don't know. I mean, c'mon, Ryan, honestly. We grew up together, kids..experiment," Seth explained without grace.  
  
"But usually the kids are friends! I mean, you grew up with her, you'd think you have more feelings for her than physical ones!" Ryan cried, exasperated.  
"I do! I did! It's just, we..we did.go out. Dated, whatever. For awhile."  
Ryan's ferocity softened with the tone of Seth's voice. He'd torn off a scab, bleeding out painful memories for Seth.  
  
"What happened?" Ryan asked, tugging at a loose thread on his blanket.  
"Well, you've gotten an impression of the Coopers.namely, Julie Cooper. Miss High Society Ice Queen herself. The minute she sensed that Marissa and I were becoming more than friends, she whisked her off to the country clubs with her, and she met Luke. Julie thought that Luke was 'a much better fit' for Marissa than the dork next door," Seth said dejectedly.  
  
"I'm sorry," Ryan said, observing that this was the first time he'd actually felt something in common with Seth.  
Seth nodded dismally, as if to say, "That's the way it goes."  
"So," Ryan continued tentatively. "Why continue to.have.the, uh, physical relationship?"  
  
"I don't even know, really. Because we both still had some sort of feelings for each other, I guess, and we couldn't be together like a regular couple-"  
"So then I was right. It's an affair, sort of," Ryan said, mildly comprehensive.  
  
Seth managed a rueful grin.  
"Yep. I'm her bitch."  
  
Ryan and Seth both laughed through their troubles.  
  
"Haven't you ever worried that Luke would find out?" Ryan asked.  
"Well, you've lived here for weeks and you didn't find us out until just now. We're pretty good at covering our tracks. It's totally secret, in case I forgot to mention NOT TO SAY ANYTHING," Seth said.  
  
"No problem, man," Ryan asked.  
Ryan suddenly looked around the poolhouse, and stood up.  
"Just please don't use my crash pad as a love shack anymore, okay?" he said with a hint of disgust.  
  
Seth nodded, and Ryan realized he'd slipped back into catatonia.  
"Are you okay, Seth?" Ryan asked. "Because I don't care, really. I mean, I just don't want either of you to get hurt."  
  
This seemed to strike a chord deep inside Seth, and it showed on his face. He stared at Ryan for a moment.  
  
"Yeah," he said. "Listen, I'm going to get out of your way. Sorry about all this."  
Ryan watched Seth walk away, and wished he would've minded his own damn business. 


	4. Four

A/N - I don't know why everyone thought I was finished with this story..(wishful thinking, anyone?), because I'm not! But if you don't want me to continue...;) Thanks for all the constructive feedback, I really appreciate it. I know I moved things pretty quickly, but it's pretty much Ryan's perspective only, and I got tired of writing over and over, "Ryan was dying to know what was going on..blah blah blah.", so I got it out in the open. More revelations will be coming just as fast, so I apologize for the unrealistic pace, but I hope you guys like it and continue to read.and REVIEW! Also, this chapter is a little shorter, and the next one will be too, but I will try to make them longer, if you want. Thanks! =) PS- BEWARE OF FOUL LANGUAGE IN UPCOMING CHAPTERS, I MAY CHANGE THE RATING.  
  
A few days later, Ryan and Seth were downstairs, you guessed it, playing PlayStation. Things weren't too awkward, surprisingly. There was something hanging in the air between the two that hadn't been there before, but neither was about to acknowledge it.  
  
"Well, that's it. I beat you again!" Seth said, laughing.  
"Oh, c'mon. This isn't fair! Let's go best two out of three," Ryan argued.  
"Uh, Ryan, I already beat you four times," Seth replied. "And besides, I'm starving. Why don't we go get some burgers?"  
  
"Nah," Ryan said, smiling. "I think I'll stay here and practice."  
"All right, dude. You want me to bring you something back?"  
"Sure, that'd be great."  
  
"Stellar. See you later," Seth called as he jogged backwards out of the room.  
Ryan continued pressing buttons on the controller for a few minutes, but it wasn't long before his damn curiosity got the best of him. He couldn't help himself -he tossed the controller aside, got up and went over to the window, looking over at the Cooper's house.  
  
"Burgers my ass," he mumbled as he watched Seth jog up the driveway.  
Marissa met him at the door, and Ryan looked away.  
What was that all about, he wondered. Was he suddenly feeling guilty for spying on his only real friends? Or did he just not want to see them kiss again?  
  
Oh, what is your problem?! Ryan thought to himself. He knew the truth, didn't he? And besides, he was a badass, right? Why did he have to respect anyone's privacy? He repeated this over and over in his head as he climbed the stairs to Seth's room, which, ironically, had the best view of Marissa's.  
  
Marissa's parents and younger sister were gone to some animal benefit gala or something, the same place the Cohen's had gone. The thought of Seth and Marissa alone in her house made Ryan nervous. He shoved the recurring image of them in poolhouse far away as he could. Who knows what could've-- stop. He made himself halt his thoughts before they took him places he didn't want to be ever again.  
  
Seth and Marissa had gone to Marissa's room, and stood face-to-face in front of the window, perfect for Ryan to make out what they were doing from his place crouched beneath Seth's window. They had matching grave expressions on their faces, and were talking back and forth. Seth reached out and took Marissa's hand. She looked down, and though her hair blocked out her face, Ryan assumed she had said something, because Seth slowly let go of her hand, and she vanished from Ryan's line of vision. Seth closed his eyes for a moment, turned, and raked his hands through his hair before he, too, walked away from the window.  
  
Ryan sighed and slumped down under the windowsill, gritting his teeth in frustration. Now what?! He'd just found out about Seth and Marissa's secret affair, what the hell else could they be hiding from him? What if Luke had found out about their love affair and -- stop. Ryan found himself once again getting ahead of himself. He knew next to nothing about what was going on. And if it were something serious, he knew Seth would tell him. Right? After all, they were brothers now.  
  
A/N - Curious? Like to know what's going on? R E V I E W!!! =) 


	5. Five

A/N - Thanks for the reviews! I realize that I am struggling with capturing Ryan's true esscence, but it's very difficult, because he's such an enigma.he never really shows what he's feeling, but I don't perceive him to be as bad as he and everyone else wants to think he is, so I am writing him that way. If anyone has any suggestions on how to improve my portrayal of him, please feel free to let me know. Also, I am most comfortable writing dialogue, so most of the rest of the story isn't too great, but I don't like to write script-style fanfiction, it feels too empty to me. This is another short chapter, but it's pretty crucial..if you want me to continue, please read and review! Thanks! =)  
  
Now, more than ever, Ryan was desperate to know what was going on with Marissa and Seth...aside from what he did know, that was. Obviously, from what he had observed, something was wrong, and Ryan had a feeling it had something to do with a certain peroxide pretty boy on a steroid trip. If it was about Luke, if he'd found out something, Ryan would have to protect Seth and Marissa, he was sure they couldn't do it themselves.  
  
Ryan peeked up over the sill to make sure that Seth and Marissa no longer could see him, and stood up. He gave the room a quick once-over to be sure he hadn't disturbed anything. Then he hurried back downstairs in case Seth had headed back.  
  
Dropping onto the couch and grabbing a game controller, Ryan began to idly press buttons in a random pattern. He heard the door open and slam close. Seth walked in, his manner completely altered from when he'd left no more than 30 minutes ago. He seemed to be in a sort of trancelike daze, his eyes glassy, and he appeared completely oblivious to Ryan's presence.  
  
"Hey," Ryan called casually.  
Seth jumped, startled. He stared blankly at Ryan for a moment, blinked rapidly, and snapped out of it.  
  
"Oh, hey, man," he said, raising his eyebrows and shoving his hands deep into his pockets, in a forced effort to seem comfortable.  
  
"Where's the food?" Ryan asked, innocently. Note to self, he thought - audition for Spielberg picture in the not-so-distant future.  
  
Seth looked at him, temporarily frozen. Ryan felt mildly guilty. Why was he trying to trap the kid, anyway? He'd evidently just been through a crisis of unknown magnitude, and here Ryan was playing Encyclodpedia Brown.  
  
"Oh, shoot, dude. I, uh, I.." Seth stammered, waving his hands around, as if he could grasp an excuse out of thin air.  
  
"Hey, whatever, Seth," Ryan cut him off, unable to bear this pitiful attempt to lie. He was going to have to teach this boy a thing or two.  
  
Seth sighed heavily, and seated himself on the bottom stair, putting his face in his hands. Ryan, in spite of himself, felt his heart pang. This guy was a sad sight. Like the Hunchback of Notre Dame or something. Ryan wanted to help him, really, he did, but he didn't have much experience in the consoling department. What the hell, he thought. I'll give it a shot. After all, he owed him his new life.  
  
"Seth, are you all right, bro?" Ryan asked, tossing in the family adage in an attempt to make Seth feel more comfortable opening up to him.  
  
No response.  
  
Ryan swallowed hard and slowly approached the step. He tentatively seated himself beside Seth, who didn't react. Ryan cleared his throat uncomfortably, and in a last ditch effort, gingerly placed a hand on Seth's shoulder. Then Seth hit his feet and backed away from Ryan in a hurry. Ryan now sat on the step and Seth had backed against the wall across from the stairs, so the two faced each other. It was now that Ryan realized that Seth was crying.  
"Seth," Ryan said seriously, stunned at the tears in his friend's eyes.  
  
"Just.just leave me alone, Ryan," Seth said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He stalked forward and started up the stairs, but Ryan stood and caught his wrist.  
  
"Is this about Marissa?" Ryan asked, squinting up at Seth.  
Seth leaned against the wall in the stairway,tipping his head back and closing his eyes tightly, fighting with himself on whether he wanted to answer Ryan or not. He sniffled, and felt another shameful tear slide down his cheek. He nodded.  
  
"Did you guys.have a fight?" Ryan ventured vigilantly.  
"No," Seth said in a quavering voice.  
"Does this involve Luke?" Ryan continued.  
Seth opened his wet eyes and held them to Ryan's.  
"This has nothing to do with Luke," he said somberly.  
  
Ryan looked at Seth, urging his friend to confide in him. Seth caught the trust in his eyes and buckled under the stress of his predicament.  
"Marissa's pregnant."  
  
*Gasp! * ;) .. Congratulations, Susanna! You guessed it! 


	6. Six

Thanks for the reviews! Please keep them coming, they're such a motivator.you other writers know what I mean. Thanks for reading! Hope you like it!  
  
*  
  
The words slammed into Ryan as if he'd been clotheslined by a 400 pound quarterback (though, admittedly, he had no clue what that felt like). Marissa.pregnant? By Seth? Meek, nerdy little Seth Cohen? He'd barely digested the idea of the two of them being..lovers. And now they were going to be parents?  
  
"Oh my God.." was all Ryan could say as he tried to digest alarm and jealousy and anger all at once.  
  
"Ohh.." Seth moaned miserably. "My parents are going to kill me. No, no, wait. Marissa's parents are going to kill me. Nope, Luke is going to kill me, and then the Coopers are going to burn my body while my parents dance around it!"  
  
Ryan struggled to find words of consolation somewhere in the murk of shock that had permeated his conciousness.  
  
"No, Seth, don't stress out just yet-" he managed pathetically, the words coming out forced and unnatural.  
  
"Don't stress out? Don't stress out?! Ryan! Marissa is pregnant! Did you even hear what I said?!"  
  
"Calm down," Ryan said, trying to be the sensible one. Seth evidently wasn't going to volunteer for the position.  
  
Before Seth could start repeating Ryan again, Ryan coaxed him up the stairs into his room.  
  
They both sat down, but Seth only rested for about four seconds before he was up and off, pacing the floor, running his hand through his hair and biting the nails off the other. His eyes were wide, almost maniacally. Ryan felt bad for him, but at the same time, was perturbed by that sensation of jealousy.  
  
"Okay, Seth, I'm sorry, but I have to ask this.you do know that it's yours, right?" Ryan mumbled.  
  
"Yeah, it's me, all right," Seth said distantly. "Marissa and Luke weren't ever.or, at least she said-"  
  
"Don't go there, Seth. She wouldn't lie. Focus on one thing at a time, man," Ryan coached. He was good at dealing with crises, he'd grown up teaching himself how.  
  
"What am I going to do, Ryan!? I'm so screwed!" Seth moaned, dropping onto his bed and putting his face in his hands.  
  
Resisting the urge to sneak in a smart comment, Ryan smiled inwardly in spite of himself and tried his best to help Seth.  
  
"What does Marissa think? I mean, what does she want to do about this?" Ryan asked, setting his jaw.  
  
Seth shrugged.  
  
"I don't know, she didn't want to talk about it. She said she felt like she had to tell me, but she was so freaked out she hadn't really thought about it yet. I didn't want to leave her so upset, but she practically threw me out." Seth said.  
  
The dismal lilt in Seth's tone had returned.  
"You know," he said, staring into space. "I think she was going to end it between us, I mean, before she found out that she was- well, you know."  
  
"Like I said, Seth, one thing at a time, okay?" Ryan said, putting a hand tentatively on Seth's trembling shoulder. Man, did he feel bad for the kid. A rich, Newport kid with two parents and everything he could ever want or need, and he felt sorry for him. Come to think of it, Chino wasn't so awful after all..  
  
"Right. One thing at a time. Focus on the fact that Marissa is (gulp)..pregnant.Oh, shit."  
  
Seth leapt from the bed and made a beeline to the bathroom. Ryan took his seat and massaged his throbbing temples. He felt like he was in a poorly-written episode of The Twilight Zone. He pinched himself again, and unsatisfied, smacked himself across the face. He felt as sick as Seth when he felt the hot pain on his cheek.  
  
When Seth finally managed to lurch out of the bathroom, bleary-eyed and worn out, Ryan convinced him to take some of Kirsten's sleep aids and lie down. That kid is so high strung, Ryan mused, that it will be a miracle if he doesn't have a massive coronary before he's old enough to vote. Ryan grinned sardonically at this. Not old enough to vote, but old enough to have a kid. He felt more and more at home every day. 


	7. Seven

Hey! I am trying to update frequently...sorry if I am repeating myself in the story, I don't catch it, as I write in chapter form. Thanks for reading, please please please review! =)  
  
It was late when Sandy and Kirsten finally came home. Ryan had stayed in the house, just to make sure that Seth didn't come out of his sleeping-pill induced stupor and freak out again. He'd mostly just lazed around, channel surfing, toying with Seth's various electronic contraptions, anything he could do to keep from thinking. His mind hurt from having to process all the shocking news that Seth brought his way. He couldn't imagine what Seth and Marissa must be going through right now. Marissa.  
  
Ryan said a quick good-night to the Cohens, explaining that Seth had gone to bed early with a "little headache." He then went outside, but passed the poolhouse, and instead, crept stealthily to Marissa's yard.  
  
He had been sure she would be awake, and he was right. She sat on the edge of the swimming pool, swirling her tanned ankles through the lagoon blue water, staring blankly at her anguished reflection.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Ryan stood partially-concealed by the bushes around the Cooper's pool, his hands jammed in his pockets. Marissa jumped at his words, her jolt making a trickling sound in the water. She snapped her head to the side to see who had spoken to her, and Ryan couldn't tell if she seemed relieved or burdened when she found it to be him. She turned her gaze back to the water. He took this as an impromptu invitation.  
  
"Hey," he said again, seating himself next to her and dipping his own feet into the pool. The water was freezing, and he had the impulse to yank them back out, but somehow, it seemed inappropriate to disturb the unsettling tranquility of the moment.  
  
"How are you?" he continued gently when Marissa didn't respond.  
He saw a tear slip down her cheek, making a delicate track in her makeup. She made no effort to swipe it away, and he burned with the urge to do it himself.  
  
"He told you, didn't he," she stated. Her voice was frail, and she sounded much younger than Ryan had ever heard before.  
  
Ryan took a deep breath and sighed.  
"Yeah." he said. "And.I don't know what to say."  
It was true. "Sorry" and "Congratulations" both seemed inappropriate at this point in time.  
  
"Me either," Marissa said coldly, shrugging her slight shoulders.  
Ryan didn't know what he was doing here. Did he come to let Marissa unload on him? Did he honestly think she would? Confide in the kid from Chino? Get real.  
  
"Uh, um," Ryan stammered, searching for something, anything to end the awkward silence.  
"I'm sorry about the other day, the poolhouse," Marissa said faintly. "You didn't deserve to find out like that."  
  
"Find out that you and Seth have been sleeping together Dawson and Joey style for the past year?" Ryan scoffed.  
  
He saw tears shimmering in Marissa's eyes, and felt remorseful. What was this girl doing to him? Remorse was not in Ryan Atwood's repertoire.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ryan," she said, playing with her hands.  
"What are you sorry for? What you and Seth do is your business, not mine. But just make sure you keep it that way," Ryan said, wishing still that he didn't know anything.  
  
"I think it's over," Marissa said, barely audible.  
Ryan thought he'd heard her wrong.  
"What?"  
"Between Seth and me," Marissa whispered, staring into the water.  
Ryan bit his lip to keep from blurting out something along the lines of "But you're pregnant!"  
  
"Why?" he asked, instead.  
  
Marissa's lip quivered, threatening a sob, but none came.  
  
"Ryan, I'm so messed up," she said, her voice leaving her softly.  
"Hey," he offered helpfully. "You can't be more messed up than me. You'll be okay."  
Marissa gaped at him, her body going rigid. She stood up, livid, and stalked away from him, then turned to face him again.  
  
"I'll be okay? Ryan, I am not going to be okay!" She began ticking items off on her fingers furiously. "I'm dating one guy, having a baby with another."  
Her toned softened slightly.  
"And now you."  
  
Ryan's heart caught in his throat, and his body tingled with a sudden rage. Why should he care? What reason did he have for not marching right over to Marissa Cooper and kissing her passionately? He wasn't supposed to give a shit. About anything. Period. He was the bad boy around here, and he didn't want to disappoint anyone. Then again, a bad boy who wanted to piss off the Coopers would have to do little more than seduce their daughter.  
  
Suddenly, he went over to her, and looked into her damp eyes. He suddenly leaned forward and sealed her mouth with his. She pulled away in annoyed surprise.  
  
"Ryan!" she exclaimed, dissolving into tears so that her speech was muddled. "I'm trying to tell you how I feel, how confused I am, and you go and do a lousy thing like that? Just get away from me!"  
  
"Marissa-"  
  
"No!" she screamed. "I know you want to think you're just this brooding rebel from the wrong side of the tracks, who can just waltz up and take me on without a second thought to your only friend's feelings, but you're changing, Ryan, and you know it, and it scares you to death that you might actually give a damn about someone other than yourself!"  
  
Marissa turned on her heel, her hair whipping against her back, and stalked inside, leaving a trail of wet footprints, and a very aghast boy from Chino.  
  
* 


End file.
